From the Galapagos we flew to Guayaquil. All I can remember was trying to get pizza and getting lasagne, and running from 3 rather scary girls who were animatedly arguing about who got the f**k me first... clearly Ecuadorian girls have little dignity and by the looks of it a growing collection of STIs.
We are currently in Cusco, south easten Peru, and it has taken us 54 coxis breaking, cramp inducing hours where my mind has wandered in enough circles to make me permanently dizzy. After seeing pale yellow liquid dripping from the walls and ceiling of the toliet on the first bus my bladder has now stretched to twice its normal capacity in a strong resolve to never enter the `shower of shite` cubicle.
En route to Cusco we stopped for 3 days in the Cordillera Blanca; a mountain range like the Alps but on steroids. The first day we took in the breath taking views whilst precariously balanced on two trembling horses. Unfortunately Seesaw (couldn`t remember his real name but it sounds something Peruvianily similar) was no Shadowfax but even so he still left me walking like I`d had a testicular taution. The next day we hired mountain bikes and at set of a 6 in the morning to take on Hurascuran, Peru`s highest mountain. In the snow you`re not supposed to wear shorts so naturally after 2 mintues I could have had a baby with an affinity for chewing, bite my fingers and not feel a thing. With my fingers in this state I had as much precision changing Kirst`s flat tire as a blind man pointing towards where his guide dog had run off to. Foolishly we sped past some cows, one of which kicked out and started running parallel to our bikes. Watching the lumbering cow and not the road unsurprisingly I hit a rock, twisted the handlebars and came to a sudden stop by embedding the crackshaft into my calf muscle. Life could have been worse, as was the case for Kirst, who swerved to miss me and toppled head long into the ground. Bummer! Apprently the cow was going to kill her so I guess we were lucky that she got away with ripped trousers, a bit of blood loss and the subsequent `one to tell the grandkids about` sized bruise. Biking the rest of the way it felt like we were inside a tumble drier and by the end I was shaken enough to be declared broken.
On a slightly less active day enforced by the cancellation of our planned ice climbing we caught some rays (ie. slight burnt ourselves) and tried to do some running. However, at 3500m its like taking a bottle of shaken coke and breathing in the pure CO2 given off from the bubbles and my lungs collapsed... as did I to the amusment of the traditonally dressed Peruvian women. Not really wanting to leave we caught the night bus to Cusco.
We booked ourselves onto a 3 day rafting expedtion on the Apurimac River; a 50km canyon section with the sun on our backs and condors catching the thermals above us. At times the rafting was like putting your head in a washing machine until you couldn`t breath and then being spun so fast you didn`t know up from down. The grade 4 and 5 rapids almost compared to the Mighty Zambezi and given the oars for some of the small rapids naturally we immediately smashed into the only rock, but the company of half of Isreal made the whole experience so relaxed. In the evening in complete serenity we lounged in hammocks, swam with the guides, drank and in an annual ritual to mother earth chewed the leaves that Columbians make into cocaine. Finally at the end of the trip we soared from the bridge swing and plummeted into the river from nearly 20 metres up that puts Devils Bridge to shame. BOOM!
Tomorrow we are starting a 4 day Inca jungle trek that finishes at the infamous Machu Picchu, before starting to make our way back to Lima and ultimately home.
Friday, 12 August 2011
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
South America: Stage 3 - BANOS and THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS
The first day we got to Banos, less than 5 minutes after we arrived Kirst was already tugging my sleeve leading us towards the nearest massage parlour. After the 8000 calorie-a-day climbs I guess we deserevd some relaxation. However my toes curled in agony, muscles set like concrete for 25 minutes where I seriously contemplated over powering the tiny massouse to stop her from pulling every muscle fibre and twangging it like a guitar string. Twingy foot syndrome was paramount...but apparently Kirst enjoyed herself. To the hot springs for some real relaxing - except like a thoushand squirming eels the pool was 95% Ecuadorians, 4% water and 1% bemused (and feeling very white) English. Humph!
The next day we hired mountain bikes to ride the ´Ruta de las Cascadas´ which turned into extreme showering as we stood beneath Palion del Diablo waterfall. This was the unstoppable force and unfortunately we were the very moveable objects. It was like having the majority of Lake Windermere refreshingly funelled into our faces. Later we stumbled upon yet another Jorge, an eccentric man who a few days previously had fallen off a cliff and feeling reckless ourselves we decided to try puenting (Ecuadorian bungee jumping). You need more balls than a Chinese ping pong tournament to throw yourself from the 150ft high bridge, and when the harness catches you, said balls become more thna a little tender. I am fairly sure that my internal organs fused together during this process forming a reddish gloop with the texture of a liquified jelly fish...still no problem eating dinner though!
On returning to Quito we quickly visited the Mitad del Mundo (centre of the world) so we could touristically be bisected by the Equator. Then following the big Charles D we headed to the Galapagos Islands, with the expense big enough to blow our wallets into smaller particles than found in the Large Hadron Collider.
We spent 5 days cruising the archipeligo on a 45ft catamaran living the life of royalty under the burning sun and snorkelling with an abundance of marine life in the turquoise sea. Our blood pressure increased as we swam with white tip reef sharks, mouths filled with water from smiling at the group of penguins darting past and we encountered complete serenity with 8 awe-inspiring eagle rays. But by far the most fun was had with the high on sugar sea lions who tugged on your flippers and appeared 2 inches from your nose show boating upside down. Our guide Edwin showed us (with more enthusiasm than I thought possible from one person) the fascinating volcanic formations, ridiculously tame birdlife and the GIANT tortoises. These magnificent creatures live their life at a speed which can be comfortably overtaken by the 7cm per year movement of the Galapagos Islands themselves - or they have smoked enough marijuana to last for 150 years.
We were joined on our boat by:
- Sagi and Goldman ( 2 wannabe Maverick Israeli fighter pilots)
- Zac (American medical student with flopsy enough hair to match Zac Efron)
- Sylvina (Swiss student who forgot her Tissot watch and missed her flight)
- Patrick (the only person I know to have escaped from Lichenstein)
- Antonio (Spaniard who gets his kicks from impersonating sea lions!)
If any of you read this then thank you for making our time on board so enjoyable. I think I would rather papershred my own fingers than spend a week on board a boat with a bunch on morons. so we were very lucky to have such great companions and guide. On our last day it was Kirst´s 18th birthday, so naturally we were travelling and she received only one very practical present (hair bobbles)...thanks Mum!!!
After one night in Guayaquil we are now going to head to Peru in search of Paddington Bear.
The next day we hired mountain bikes to ride the ´Ruta de las Cascadas´ which turned into extreme showering as we stood beneath Palion del Diablo waterfall. This was the unstoppable force and unfortunately we were the very moveable objects. It was like having the majority of Lake Windermere refreshingly funelled into our faces. Later we stumbled upon yet another Jorge, an eccentric man who a few days previously had fallen off a cliff and feeling reckless ourselves we decided to try puenting (Ecuadorian bungee jumping). You need more balls than a Chinese ping pong tournament to throw yourself from the 150ft high bridge, and when the harness catches you, said balls become more thna a little tender. I am fairly sure that my internal organs fused together during this process forming a reddish gloop with the texture of a liquified jelly fish...still no problem eating dinner though!
On returning to Quito we quickly visited the Mitad del Mundo (centre of the world) so we could touristically be bisected by the Equator. Then following the big Charles D we headed to the Galapagos Islands, with the expense big enough to blow our wallets into smaller particles than found in the Large Hadron Collider.
We spent 5 days cruising the archipeligo on a 45ft catamaran living the life of royalty under the burning sun and snorkelling with an abundance of marine life in the turquoise sea. Our blood pressure increased as we swam with white tip reef sharks, mouths filled with water from smiling at the group of penguins darting past and we encountered complete serenity with 8 awe-inspiring eagle rays. But by far the most fun was had with the high on sugar sea lions who tugged on your flippers and appeared 2 inches from your nose show boating upside down. Our guide Edwin showed us (with more enthusiasm than I thought possible from one person) the fascinating volcanic formations, ridiculously tame birdlife and the GIANT tortoises. These magnificent creatures live their life at a speed which can be comfortably overtaken by the 7cm per year movement of the Galapagos Islands themselves - or they have smoked enough marijuana to last for 150 years.
We were joined on our boat by:
- Sagi and Goldman ( 2 wannabe Maverick Israeli fighter pilots)
- Zac (American medical student with flopsy enough hair to match Zac Efron)
- Sylvina (Swiss student who forgot her Tissot watch and missed her flight)
- Patrick (the only person I know to have escaped from Lichenstein)
- Antonio (Spaniard who gets his kicks from impersonating sea lions!)
If any of you read this then thank you for making our time on board so enjoyable. I think I would rather papershred my own fingers than spend a week on board a boat with a bunch on morons. so we were very lucky to have such great companions and guide. On our last day it was Kirst´s 18th birthday, so naturally we were travelling and she received only one very practical present (hair bobbles)...thanks Mum!!!
After one night in Guayaquil we are now going to head to Peru in search of Paddington Bear.
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
South America: Stage Two - OTAVALO, COTOPAXI & CHIMBORAZO
On a spur of the moment decsion we were invited to stay with Jorge's (pronounced Hor-Hey) family in Quito. With a hand drawn map showing the bare minimum of 3 streets we jumped in a taxi, however if you listened carefully you could hear the only two brain cells in our taxi driver's head bumping together reminding him to breath, so the expected 5 minute jouney actually took 45.
We needed to get up high to acclimatise for our two high altitude expeditions; Cotopaxi at 5897m, the world's highest active volcano and Chimborazo at 6310m, the furthest point from the centre of the earth. We accidently bought maps on A2 size paper, that had we needed them would have acted like the spiniker of a 49er racing dinghy and dragged us bodily from the summit of Rucu Pichincha and over the sprawling city of Quito. Keen to bump up our red blood cell count we took the Teleferico again the next day and climbed Rucu Pichincha in the snow.
On Saturday we took a day off from our physically draining, head-ache inducing acclimatisation schedule to visit the world renowned Otavalo market. Shoulder to shoulder we squeezed and shimmed visiting exoctic colour stalls with llama emblazoned clothing of every description. The highlight of any dreaded washing up stint at Bellavista was whenever the BIG SPOON came down to be washed: so naturally when I saw a 50cm wooden spoon for $3 I had to have it. Unless you are BFG sized (or the projected size of Scott when he stops growing) there is little practical use for my BIG SPOON or little spade but when in Rome.... If Olly Murs and Fiona Bruce from News at 10 ever get together then we saw it cinematically first on the bus back from Otavalo. I have no idea what happened as my Spanish still hasn't progressed much from 'me gusta....' and pointing to objects that I now supposedly like, but they were identical to the buttoned up Fred Perry t-shirts and dodgey glasses!
When we got home before being taken to Harry Potter with Vivi and Esteban, we ate a delicious meal of crabs. I was unsurprisingly retarded at smashing the crabs with a hammer and 10 minutes later everything within a 5m radius, including Kirst and the ceiling , were covered in salty intestines. This resulted in a negative calorie meal and turned me into a human maraka from the crab shell bouncing inside my stomach. Vivi and Esteban also took us out in Qutio where we drank Mango Mojitos at a bar with a beach upstairs.
We travelled to Papagayo, our hosteria for the climbing expeditions where the food portions were barely adequate for anorexic pygmy dwarves (they couldn't be bulimic as there wasn't enough food for them to throw up!). But it is a beautiful place and everyone we have met here is very friendly....plus our room is called Diana, blissful South African memories :) We climbed Iliniza Norte with Luiz our guide in preparation for heading into the stratosphere.
We set off just after one in the morning. The bright lights of Quito glowed in the distance, whilst the moon gave us enough light to render our head torches useless. After 45 mins struggle against the volcanic ash of Cotopaxi we secured our crampons, dug out our ice axes and began getting intimate with the first ice field. Fernando, our guide, led as matriarch as we raced the clouds to the summit. Deep crevases plunged into never ending darkness as we crossed snow bridges in the biting ice-cold wind the forze the water in our bottles. As we climbed a woodpecker began knocking on my head, and with each passing metre he was joined by friends. By the last 100m my altitude sickness was such a constant, never ending pounding that given the choice I'd rather wander the streets of Johanesburg shouting 'N****r'! My legs ached with exhustion, after 2 hours sleep I was mentally closing down but being a little bit too competative meant there was no way that I wasn't going to get to the top. The sun crept agonisingly slowly over the horizon as we summited, glinting off the glacier and providing the most amazing view.
Back at the hosteria we relaxed by getting insanely warm by accidently boiling ourselves in the 45 degrees jaccuzi with our new Swiss friends and building good enough relationships with the plastic table football players to make it onto my Christmas card list. Roo (6) v Kirst (4).
The weatherman took one look at our newly purchased, overly vibrant pijama bottoms, vomitted in his mouth and decided to turn our recent good fortune on the slopes of Cotopaxi for the worse. The wind was pulling rocks the size of Monty the Mini and hurling them towards 3 would be Chimborazo conquerers. We had boldly set of at 11pm in our naiveity (Kirst wearing 9 layers) but less than a quater of the way up Fernando sensibly called it quits and we headed back down. The cherry on top, Fernando didn't let the decade or two age gap deter him and hit on Kirst! The only possible silver lining from this collosal Chimborazo fiasco; the perfect excuse to start planning a returnm trip back to this wonderful country so I can take the eluding volcano and castrate it! To get over the bitter dissapointment of Chimborazo we are going to try and Ecuadorian form of bungee jumping in the adventurers mecca, Banos and then fly to the Galapagos to make friends with some Giant Tortoises.
We needed to get up high to acclimatise for our two high altitude expeditions; Cotopaxi at 5897m, the world's highest active volcano and Chimborazo at 6310m, the furthest point from the centre of the earth. We accidently bought maps on A2 size paper, that had we needed them would have acted like the spiniker of a 49er racing dinghy and dragged us bodily from the summit of Rucu Pichincha and over the sprawling city of Quito. Keen to bump up our red blood cell count we took the Teleferico again the next day and climbed Rucu Pichincha in the snow.
On Saturday we took a day off from our physically draining, head-ache inducing acclimatisation schedule to visit the world renowned Otavalo market. Shoulder to shoulder we squeezed and shimmed visiting exoctic colour stalls with llama emblazoned clothing of every description. The highlight of any dreaded washing up stint at Bellavista was whenever the BIG SPOON came down to be washed: so naturally when I saw a 50cm wooden spoon for $3 I had to have it. Unless you are BFG sized (or the projected size of Scott when he stops growing) there is little practical use for my BIG SPOON or little spade but when in Rome.... If Olly Murs and Fiona Bruce from News at 10 ever get together then we saw it cinematically first on the bus back from Otavalo. I have no idea what happened as my Spanish still hasn't progressed much from 'me gusta....' and pointing to objects that I now supposedly like, but they were identical to the buttoned up Fred Perry t-shirts and dodgey glasses!
When we got home before being taken to Harry Potter with Vivi and Esteban, we ate a delicious meal of crabs. I was unsurprisingly retarded at smashing the crabs with a hammer and 10 minutes later everything within a 5m radius, including Kirst and the ceiling , were covered in salty intestines. This resulted in a negative calorie meal and turned me into a human maraka from the crab shell bouncing inside my stomach. Vivi and Esteban also took us out in Qutio where we drank Mango Mojitos at a bar with a beach upstairs.
We travelled to Papagayo, our hosteria for the climbing expeditions where the food portions were barely adequate for anorexic pygmy dwarves (they couldn't be bulimic as there wasn't enough food for them to throw up!). But it is a beautiful place and everyone we have met here is very friendly....plus our room is called Diana, blissful South African memories :) We climbed Iliniza Norte with Luiz our guide in preparation for heading into the stratosphere.
We set off just after one in the morning. The bright lights of Quito glowed in the distance, whilst the moon gave us enough light to render our head torches useless. After 45 mins struggle against the volcanic ash of Cotopaxi we secured our crampons, dug out our ice axes and began getting intimate with the first ice field. Fernando, our guide, led as matriarch as we raced the clouds to the summit. Deep crevases plunged into never ending darkness as we crossed snow bridges in the biting ice-cold wind the forze the water in our bottles. As we climbed a woodpecker began knocking on my head, and with each passing metre he was joined by friends. By the last 100m my altitude sickness was such a constant, never ending pounding that given the choice I'd rather wander the streets of Johanesburg shouting 'N****r'! My legs ached with exhustion, after 2 hours sleep I was mentally closing down but being a little bit too competative meant there was no way that I wasn't going to get to the top. The sun crept agonisingly slowly over the horizon as we summited, glinting off the glacier and providing the most amazing view.
Back at the hosteria we relaxed by getting insanely warm by accidently boiling ourselves in the 45 degrees jaccuzi with our new Swiss friends and building good enough relationships with the plastic table football players to make it onto my Christmas card list. Roo (6) v Kirst (4).
The weatherman took one look at our newly purchased, overly vibrant pijama bottoms, vomitted in his mouth and decided to turn our recent good fortune on the slopes of Cotopaxi for the worse. The wind was pulling rocks the size of Monty the Mini and hurling them towards 3 would be Chimborazo conquerers. We had boldly set of at 11pm in our naiveity (Kirst wearing 9 layers) but less than a quater of the way up Fernando sensibly called it quits and we headed back down. The cherry on top, Fernando didn't let the decade or two age gap deter him and hit on Kirst! The only possible silver lining from this collosal Chimborazo fiasco; the perfect excuse to start planning a returnm trip back to this wonderful country so I can take the eluding volcano and castrate it! To get over the bitter dissapointment of Chimborazo we are going to try and Ecuadorian form of bungee jumping in the adventurers mecca, Banos and then fly to the Galapagos to make friends with some Giant Tortoises.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
South America: Stage One - BELLAVISTA
After not very much preparation and an interesting last few days (getting intimate with tractors for Roo and over indulgence in alcohol after a mountain of 3 A-level exams for Kirst) we set off. In Lima airport, the lack of preparation slapped me in the face like a wet fish as I realised I actually knew not a single word in Spanish.. good start. But after a 7 hr delay that actually saved us a nights accommodation, an hour an a half massage in the executive lounge and simply awe-inspiring views of Cotopaxi at sunrise we made it to Quito. Hopefully if all goes well we will be standing, crouching, laying, dead or alive on the summit of Cotopaxi in 3 weeks time.
We spent a couple of days in Quito where with the expert help of the tiny Madame Salsa Dancer I somehow managed to not dislocate both hip sockets and Kirst through many years of Andy Warriner rhythm training made somewhere in the realm of a mediocre to passable stab at salsa.
We travelled through the erie streets of Quito at 6 in the morning towards Bellavista Cloud Forest Reserve, our home for the next two weeks. By the end of the first night, stomachs full of Pilsner, privately thanking Madame Salsa Dancer and a little bit in love with my dance partner Andreibels, we crashed back up the cobbles for 12km to the bamboo huts of Bellavista. Everyone was so welcoming we made friends (or more than friends in the case of Nelson for Kirst) so quickly. We machete'd trails until there was very little primary forest left, balanced on 2 inch planks 20ft up as we attached the new roof to the Estacion de Investigasion (science station) and 'scrubby scrubby'ied enough guests plates that our hands took on the consistency of mushy peas... still nothing on the Bay Horse though, Botts had better move up the hierarchy before his hands completely disintegrate!
From now on whenever information forms ask me for any allergies I dont have to be boring and write N/A, but can whole-heartedly shout my disinterlect by putting SPANISH in block capitals! It took me the entire 2 weeks to learn the word for teaspoon. Although by now I have to be a world champion at charades.. thank f**k Kirst was paying attention in her GSCE Spanish lessons. At 5 o'clock daily I either got obliterated at volleyball in the driving rain, or with Kirst (being a dictator to the strength of Hitler and Stalin combined) on the stop watch leading a rigorous gym programme for everyone. Our novelty weights consisted of huge concrete blocks on the ends of little, bendy sticks: as I pulled bits of light bulb from my hair I realised they weren't quite as heavy as they looked!
By complete chance we have coincided our trip with Copa America (equivalent to the Euro football competition) and if there was a facebook group 'The awkward silence when Ecuador loose and everyone around you is dressed in red, blue and yellow' we would by default have liked this more than once. Nonetheless all the Ecuadorians that we have been living, eating, sleeping, working, gyming and washing up with have been so happy and made our time at Bellavista so much fun. However, after 5 days two 18 yr old American volunteers arrived to provide a constant source of amusement. They describe themselves as 'Full Metal Ornathologists' (whatever that means) and made me want to take on the swinging arm of the irrigation system on a tractor again every time I heard the word tananger finch! They only wore t-shirts with pictures of birds on, never allowed their precious American Birding Society binoculars more than arms length away (even when washing up inside), used two hands when hammering nails and over a quarter of the 4000 songs on their ipods were specific bird noises eeeeeeekkkkkkk! If it hadn't been so fun to laugh at them I'd rather be locked in the chicken coup back home in England with the mangy, de-feathered, covered in its own poo Black Rock flapping in my face for an entire week.
On our second to last day, after bargaining and showing that Favio's heart wasn't made out of rusty metal, we managed to get a fantastic discount to the Tucanopy Ziplines in Mindo with David. We definitely saw Ecuador from a different angle as we flew upside down, faces red pumped full of blood, discovering new and unexplored high altitude sex positions with the instructors (shame they were both men) speeding 100m above the canopy. It was very sad to say goodbye after 13 days with everyone at Bellavista, they definitely started off our trip the best way possible. Starting our acclimatasation for climbing next... Cotopaxi in 1 week.
We spent a couple of days in Quito where with the expert help of the tiny Madame Salsa Dancer I somehow managed to not dislocate both hip sockets and Kirst through many years of Andy Warriner rhythm training made somewhere in the realm of a mediocre to passable stab at salsa.
We travelled through the erie streets of Quito at 6 in the morning towards Bellavista Cloud Forest Reserve, our home for the next two weeks. By the end of the first night, stomachs full of Pilsner, privately thanking Madame Salsa Dancer and a little bit in love with my dance partner Andreibels, we crashed back up the cobbles for 12km to the bamboo huts of Bellavista. Everyone was so welcoming we made friends (or more than friends in the case of Nelson for Kirst) so quickly. We machete'd trails until there was very little primary forest left, balanced on 2 inch planks 20ft up as we attached the new roof to the Estacion de Investigasion (science station) and 'scrubby scrubby'ied enough guests plates that our hands took on the consistency of mushy peas... still nothing on the Bay Horse though, Botts had better move up the hierarchy before his hands completely disintegrate!
From now on whenever information forms ask me for any allergies I dont have to be boring and write N/A, but can whole-heartedly shout my disinterlect by putting SPANISH in block capitals! It took me the entire 2 weeks to learn the word for teaspoon. Although by now I have to be a world champion at charades.. thank f**k Kirst was paying attention in her GSCE Spanish lessons. At 5 o'clock daily I either got obliterated at volleyball in the driving rain, or with Kirst (being a dictator to the strength of Hitler and Stalin combined) on the stop watch leading a rigorous gym programme for everyone. Our novelty weights consisted of huge concrete blocks on the ends of little, bendy sticks: as I pulled bits of light bulb from my hair I realised they weren't quite as heavy as they looked!
By complete chance we have coincided our trip with Copa America (equivalent to the Euro football competition) and if there was a facebook group 'The awkward silence when Ecuador loose and everyone around you is dressed in red, blue and yellow' we would by default have liked this more than once. Nonetheless all the Ecuadorians that we have been living, eating, sleeping, working, gyming and washing up with have been so happy and made our time at Bellavista so much fun. However, after 5 days two 18 yr old American volunteers arrived to provide a constant source of amusement. They describe themselves as 'Full Metal Ornathologists' (whatever that means) and made me want to take on the swinging arm of the irrigation system on a tractor again every time I heard the word tananger finch! They only wore t-shirts with pictures of birds on, never allowed their precious American Birding Society binoculars more than arms length away (even when washing up inside), used two hands when hammering nails and over a quarter of the 4000 songs on their ipods were specific bird noises eeeeeeekkkkkkk! If it hadn't been so fun to laugh at them I'd rather be locked in the chicken coup back home in England with the mangy, de-feathered, covered in its own poo Black Rock flapping in my face for an entire week.
On our second to last day, after bargaining and showing that Favio's heart wasn't made out of rusty metal, we managed to get a fantastic discount to the Tucanopy Ziplines in Mindo with David. We definitely saw Ecuador from a different angle as we flew upside down, faces red pumped full of blood, discovering new and unexplored high altitude sex positions with the instructors (shame they were both men) speeding 100m above the canopy. It was very sad to say goodbye after 13 days with everyone at Bellavista, they definitely started off our trip the best way possible. Starting our acclimatasation for climbing next... Cotopaxi in 1 week.
Monday, 4 April 2011
Canada week 17, 18,19 and 20: SPRING SKIING
Its been a little while so time to write up the last few weeks frivolities! This last week's snow has been insane; knee deep pow-pow and bluebird sky days! Spring skiing is definately the way to go. There is only two and a half weeks of the season left at Norquay now, but with it being Spring Break here in Alberta there is still plenty of work still going on. Last week I saw Celeste again (she was one of my first lessons when I taught her at Christmas) and apparently she had to do a school project on a kind of, hero sort of thing... and guess who she chose?! Hahah it certainly makes you feel good about work :)
Finally I managed to get to see an ice hockey match: Calgary Flames vs Colorado Avalanche coinciding with St Paddys day = vodka fuelled mash up leading to blurry green vision; 3 people from Norquay were escorted from the game due to excessive alcoholling :) The game was such a fantastic spectacle. Last week on my 3 day programmes I met Brendan Morrison and taught two of his daughters, he plays for the Flames and has played for Canada... sooo that was kinda cool!
Last Friday I managed to get back to Kicking Horse (again after 2 hrs sleep.. mental), and once again the snow was amazing. On one run coming down the steep Whitewall back bowl I caught my skis under the powder and dived head first into the waist deep powder.. I think this photo says it all. I was only about 50cm under the snow and yet I couldn't move an inch.. a slight problem when Tim did the exact same thing and ended up finishing his slide about a foot away from me!
It feels like a long time ago now, but for the first time in my life I went horse riding with West. The snow was pounding down as I saddled up and jumped onto Dan (the horse not my room mate..) Naturally having taken an apple with me to build a lasting and fullfilling relationship with my horsey horsey I was amazing, I wish I could be more modest but there isn't any other way of describing how great a team we were! The only crunch moment, as Dan rose into a trot I bounced up and now unfortunately for my sexual organs the stirups were a tad too long and on the subsequent down my full 85kg force landed on two items that are quite precious to me. Compounding this already dire situation, through my blurred-by-tears vison we were speeding into the back of a car, a sharp pull on reins did f**k all and I almost fell off. Needless to say on the walk home across the frozen river, the distance between my legs was about twice as wide compared to on the way there.
On a night out a little while back, my housemate Jon bounces up to me.. PANORAMA!!! Yes, yes, yes! Fully consumed with alcohol the glorious decison was made to go and 2 hours of sleep later we were on our way! The powder runs blended into galde tree runs, into moguls then laps through the park before carving to the bottom. Without streching my brain too much (because today during a lesson I had to add 5 and 4 as part of a game.. yeaaah Cambridge material when I have to have it pointed out by a 4 yr old that its definately not 8) as I don't know how to use it anymore, I can't think of any other types of skiing! Simply is was EPIC!
Last Friday I managed to get back to Kicking Horse (again after 2 hrs sleep.. mental), and once again the snow was amazing. On one run coming down the steep Whitewall back bowl I caught my skis under the powder and dived head first into the waist deep powder.. I think this photo says it all. I was only about 50cm under the snow and yet I couldn't move an inch.. a slight problem when Tim did the exact same thing and ended up finishing his slide about a foot away from me!
Yesterday I went to Sunshine Village with Tim and Max for another unforgettable day. The fresh tracks coming down South Side Chutes, hitting 360s in the park and then a 20ft cliff drop to finish the day. Fortunately this picture doesn't show about 3 seconds later.. after landing i bounced off a mogul into another, lost a ski.. kind of no handed kart-wheeled into another and finished with my head lost in the snow again. Today has been a struggle walking due to severe SHIN BANG, but it was totally worth it! The last time I got this bad shin bang was crashing on the XL jumps at Norquay.. 40+ft in the air onto an icey landing isn't too ideal for the shins. In fact come to think about it that was probably one of my harsher landings. I pulled a muscle in my stomach, kind of broke my iPod, gained an evening of headache on top of the shin bang.. definately an incentive to land on my feet next time!
Since we have been in Banff, it has been a Beaver House famly traditon to watch Jersey Shore all together on Thursday nights. The gold chains, extraordinary use of fake tan.. not the kind of show I would normally watch BUT as they say.. when in Rome! For Kelly's last night in Canada the theme JERSEY SHORE, so on slapped the fake tan, the wife-beater vests came out.. and we are all DTF!! Its been kind of wierd these last few weeks.. firstly Feller left, then Kelly and now Yannik as well... still an excuse to parties and have superb homemade bugers, sweet potato fries and salad.
Less than a month till im home now.. time to start planning the next adventure!
Monday, 7 March 2011
Canada Weeks 13, 14, 15 and 16: TIPS, Family and P-A-R-K!!!
Finally a chance to write up the last few weeks. I can't remember the last time that I wasn't high on life out here! The season is slowly starting to fizzle out with the end of the 8 week programmes.. however that means TIPS TIPS!! Over the course of 2 days I recieved $250, a box of chocolates, a $25 gift card for Starbucks and a bottle of wine! Yessss please :) I have been sooo lucky with the clients that I have been teaching over the last few weeks. 46 year old Peggy took me to lunch twice and brought me cake from the Rimrock hotel, 4 year old Isabella made me a card for Valentines day and 5 year old Everett brought me a box of chocolates that take Thorntons Chocolates and throw them off a 352 ft cliff to break the World Record for the highest ever cliff drop!
It was lovely to see the Family again, if only for a week and it turned out to be a fantastic opportunity to get some free skiing in (I worked 20 out of 21 days during Feb) and also detox for a while from the old enemy ... alcohol! The weather decided that it didn't like Rob's patchy, lacking in any sex appeal, facial fuzz and was below minus 35 for the majority of the week, I guess karma came and literally got Rob in the form of frost nip on the tip of his nose! Yowza! On Thursday the ski resorts froze to a halt and therefore we had a day at home.. I guess this video says it all! The Hidden Ridge appartment was stunning; outdoor hot tubs, raindeers and picnic benches for us to fail jumps and rails on :) Finally myself and Kirst have been able to settle on a summer desination for our travels ... dun dun derrrr SOUTH AMERICA!!! Flights are booked into Ecuador and 2 adrenaline fuelled, being shot at, taking halucinagetic remedies with Amazonian tribes months later flying out of Peru! Im hoping that I can save up enough to really experience the place, there is a strong possibilty that im going to have to be either....a) a male stripper (I have little dignity left anyway plus its fairly unlikely that I could be a female stripper) b) sell my body organs (fortunately I have a spare leg, eye, testicle...etc) or c) teach Bill Gates to ski and recieve a $20,000 tip (although the chances are fairly slim).
The nightlife continues to be as fanatical and all-consuming as ever! My room-mate turned 18 a few weeks back, and the theme.. HAZZZA P! There is a muggle quidditch league between some of the America Universites (where else would it be), and I was the Golden Snitch, the rules.. if anyone managed to bring me to the floor I had to knock back the rest of my drink. Finally all those hours slugging away on the memorial rugby pitches at LRGS in the driving rain and hail paid off. Nevertheless, I don't think even Arnold Swarchenegger could have fought off 5 other guys who were all becoming more and more competitive in bringing me down.. and naturally I ended up drinking enough to fill a resonably sized swimming pool! One night I ended up crashing into the snow in just my boxers... damn that Jenga drinking game! Last Thursday it was Josh's 27th birthday and as it was my first day of non-skiing in two months I used the opportunity to catch up with lots of people back home.. however I didn't sober up until 4 in the afternoon so Im guessing I probably need to apologise to everyone who I spoke to! In the morning with a crazy fitness orientated mentality and a little persuasion from Lindsay I went for a 40 minute run which ended up with me getting lost half way up Tunnel mountain following either coyoti or wolf tracks in the snow! Its only a matter of time before I get munched by a cougar! 
My other news.... Im still loving every day of skiing; moguls, powder, park, carving.. I really dont care just so long as its fast :) Its always nice to hear that you are looking, and I quote 'sickenly good' on the slopes! A while back I went for a sumptuous meal at Don and Donna's (a retired couple who work as casual instructors) and a great pollitical conversation fuelled by more than a couple bottles of red wine! I witnessed a huge avalanche almost cover the cascade run whilst I was sat less than 30 meters away at the top of the chair lift.. if there is a time to swear in front of your clients, I think this was it! The sheer power as trees where ripped and wrenched from the ground was awe-inspiring! I have a job as a science tutor for a local Banff 16yr old girl.. hahaha im not even too sure if I even have a brain at the moment, maybe a good way to slowly start breaking myself back in for university! Naturally Im watching all the rugby matches in the 6 Nations.. there is an English pub that shows the games so you know where I am every Saturday or Sunday when England have played! Much Love to everyone back home
Monday, 7 February 2011
Canada Week 10, 11 and 12: The Meat of the Season
Finally a moment to catch my breath.. due to a severe lack of sleep, two and a half weeks continous skiing and a little excessive alcoholling I have crashed in bed for this evening! The past three weeks have been packed with so many different events and stories Im now struggling to remember them all so heres a rundown on the ones that are still fresh in my mind!
Cardboard Sled Derby: This basically a chance to get all the local Banff kids creative and build themselves a cardboard sled to race down the main hill at Norquay.. so naturally our competitive selves set out to beat them, and in all honesty our intentions were fantastic and for about 2 months we collected every piece of cardboard this side of the Atlantic. But for one hangover or another we ended up leaving the actual build until the day of the event. I left Kelly, Iona and Keely to build the sled whislt I hit up the beaver head (oh yeah we themed it to our house) and I guess this picture is the result of 3 hrs of blistering go go go work. The only design flaw ..no eye holes. Without a care in the world and with a few beers in my pocket I set off towards the bus being 'carefully' guided by Iona, however after about 5 minutes I was so disoreintated that I might as well have been on LSD! These were pretty much my thoughts as I stumbled and crawled my way to the bus! 'I think Im hitting the cross roads, Ioooona where are you?? Arggh so many people talking, hey there's a new voice calling me over there, awesome I'll head that way, ahhh shit I wish all these cars would stop beeping so much, is kinda loud. Hmm wheres the edge of the pavement, ooo i know If i do a circle Ive got to be able to find the edge.. hmm this isn't working, ahhh shut that beeping you dumbass cars, what are they even beeping at?? Iona? Ooo someones laughing a lot, seriosuly where the f******k am I? Okay, time to remove my beaver head, holy s*******t!!!!'
I was stood in the middle of the crossroads on Banff Ave with about 5 or 6 cars stopped on all directions with one white van stopped about 2 inches away from me with all the passengers cracked up laughing and the driver slamming his fist into the horn. Even worse was the 15 or so people watching from the pavement that I thought I had been stood on!
At the moment I am working about 6 days a week, which is awesome financially but it does mean that Im not getting to free ski as much as id like. However the last couple of times I have been with Lindsay (she works at the gym) and we have been able to have some great skiing at Lake Lousie and Sunshine! There is no way that my creativeness could dissappear here... for Jon's (26 well now 27 yr old Aussie in the house) birthday the theme was tight and bright (incidently this was the night I went a little crazy on Absinthe crazzzy craaazzzzy stuff!!), and for Candice's last night yesterday it was a beer drinking competiton with each team of four having a different theme. I went with Kay, Yannik and Iona as the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'. Back to that film, you know ... Chandler and Zac Efron are in it, well yeah so peacocking?! Definately works in Banff, go out in costume... hits the metaphorical nail on the head with an avalanche worthy BOOM!
I just can't believe how quickly each weeks passes, and its only 2 more weeks until the family get here.. yeaaaah boyyyha!!! Im going to have to start planning the itinery.. so much to do in one week, just make sure you come rested.. my motto at the moment:
'You can always sleep in England..'
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